Bitches get stuff done, the International Women’s Day edition

Happy Ladies Day y’all. Of course March 8th is the shortest day of the year (in hours) thanks to my beloved daylight savings time but it could be even shorter, say 35% or so, kinda like the wage gap so yay for us ladies that we got an almost whole day instead of a measly 35% less one. It does make you wonder though who is in charge of these things when women get the shortest day of the year and Black History month is February.

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I come from a long line of strong female role models, my mother was the original bad-ass feminist who when asked by her parish priest why she did not have more children (she had two at the time) responded that she would be glad to have more kids if the church wanted to pay for them and guess who never brought that up again? If you said the priest then you guessed correctly just like I thought you would.

When I was growing up feminism was a positive word much like liberal was and to see young women run from either these days fills me with all sorts of the sads. For all the women who had to fight for the right to vote, to my mother who made less money than the men she worked with doing the same job, it simply makes my blood boil to hear some of these privileged Hollywood types misrepresent what feminism is and how important it is politically, economically and morally that women are valued equally as men.

Thankfully for every Shailene sunshine on her lady parts Woodley and Kaley I like to cook for my husband Cuoco in the world there is also an Emma Watson, and in the gender olympics of life, us feminists will gladly take one of her over two of them any day. By the way, if you have not already read or seen Emma’s very eloquent speech before the UN on gender equality from last fall then check it out here.  And while we are at it let’s check out a few more women that have no qualms being associated with equality for all and the word that means just that: feminism.

Nina Turner first caught my attention when as a Ohio state senator she introduced a bill that would require men to undergo psychological testing before they could receive a prescription for Viagra or any other boner pills and I could not have agreed with her more, especially if the bill could also include some sort of wholly unnecessary yet super invasive prostate/rectal exam because as the saying goes, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. In fact, let’s just go ahead and introduce similar legislation in every state where reproductive rights for women are bogged down by frivolous laws that are purported to look out for us when all they really do is make access to legal healthcare all but impossible for far too many women.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg otherwise known as the notorious RBG, is not only smarter than at least five of her fellow supreme court justices put together but ten times more ballsy than the ones who actually have balls. Who else could drink a little too much of the Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill with dinner, go to a boring political event, a little thing the president does once a year called the State of the Union, and promptly fall asleep while the whole world (at least the parts that care about such things) watches? To be fair, her designated waker-upper Justice David Souter was not sitting next to her and I bet that won’t happen again next year, Barry will see to that. The notorious RBG may be tiny in stature but she has beat cancer not once but twice, and at 82 is the oldest judge on the bench so let her drink all the vino she wants because we need her to live for about another thirty years and if anyone can do it my money’s on Tipsy.

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Siajh Chase shows us that just because some boy thinks nothing is more important to a girl than her appearance does not mean that said girl has to has to agree with you and this one does not and for that alone she is worthy of much appreciation let alone the fact that she is FOUR YEARS OLD. All we can do is hope, despite all the ways the world will try to make her feel otherwise, that Siajh can keep the faith and not let anyone else besides herself dictate how she should or should not look because we need a ton more little girls like this if we are ever going to get a full twenty-four day in the future to call our own.

I believe Miss Houston said it best, so take it away Whitney!

7 comments

  1. Oh-Amy,

    You are so prolific! And I am so behind on reading your posts.

    Despite the intimidating-to-males title of your “Bitches” post, I patted myself on the back for continuing to read because I consider myself a truly evolved, pro-feminist guy.

    Anyway, I have to ask: If I’m 100 percent against vaginal probes and pass my psych test for Viagra, would I still have to get that nasty rectal exam?

    But did you have to mention Whitney Houston in a seemingly affirmative light in the very last line of your piece? I personally was disgusted at how much fawning media coverage that wreck of a human being got when she OD’ed. And then, a few months later, when Donna Summer — who contributed so much more to popular music — died, she got a couple paragraphs on page 8 of the Entertainment section in the Podunk Times.

    Thank you for listening. And though they “get stuff done,” I hope I’m never anybody’s bitch.

    Frank

    1. As a self-described feminist of the male persuasion you would be exempt from any of the invasive procedures that other lesser evolved males would be subjected to should you ever find yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to have “the talk” with your physician.

      I agree with you 150% that Donna Summer was superior in every conceivable way to Whitney Houston except for that fact that Ms. Houston’s song worked best to illustrate the point I was trying to make about little Siajh and my hope for an equal future for all children.

      Donna may be gone but she is definitely not forgotten!

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